It seems only fitting that my first blog post would be about toilets.
For people who really know me, know that I have kind of an obsession with toilets and bathrooms.
I mean, nothing says classy like a great bathroom experience at a restaurant. When I talk about bathrooms, I’m not talking about a line of stalls with urinals adjacent them. I’m talking about private sanctuaries. They are mini-hotels where you can take a 5min break and leave feeling refreshed (and lighter)! It is a total experience. Everything from the light waft of fragrance when you walk in, to the peaceful melodies of a harp bouncing off the polished porcelain, and don’t forget that ambient lighting,
So this toilet junky went to Japan and tried out one of those Future Toilets.
This was my first adventure to Japan, way back in 2008. It had been 4 years after graduating high school and I was still a wandering mess. For some reason, I was going snowboarding with people I had just met in Nagano Japan.
After a long day of snowboarding, we went back to the hotel, where we played games in broken Japanese. After the drinks began to flow broken Japanese eventually became broken English.
It was about the time I realized I was speaking broken English, that I also realized I was going to throw up – soon. In a slur of imaginary words in Japinglish I asked someone for directions. A now frustrated and profusely sweaty me discovers the nearest bathroom.
Bursting into a stall I find myself face to face with a Future Toilet! Proud of myself for making it this far, I do my business in said future toilet. Up until now, the whole experience was quite a success. Now all I needed to do is flush and rejoin the party refreshed and rejuvenated. But…
This damn toilet doesn’t have a knob!
No handle, either.
Panic sets in. The sweat comes back.
No rubber button, no metal button, no foot lever.
A chain, like on those old porcelain pots? NOPE.
There it was. Side the toilet was a magnificently oversized remote with 25+ buttons.
Some with icons but mainly just in Japanese. I could have read some of it, but that was several hours ago.
I used my gut instinct and pressed the button that looked most like ‘flush’. What happened next felt like an eternity. A small stick protrudes from inside the toilet and proceeds to squirt warm toilet water in and around my face.
Great! Not to mention I still haven’t flushed the toilet yet.
Features Features Features
True story. Sadly… In the end, I figured out how to flush it and fell in love with the Future Toilet.
These things are incredible luxuries! The people over at Toto say it best, “We are the Apple of Toilets.”
These toilets have a list of features you could never imagine.
Just to name a few of my favorite.
1. Heated seats
-I didn’t care that the porcelain toilet seat was like ice to my skin. Until you feel the warmth, comfort and superior support from a heated future seat. The feeling is sensational. Especially on a cold winter night.
2. Automatic Seat Opening and Closing
-If you have ever had a fight over why you’re significant other clumsily fell into the toilet in the middle of the night because some hairy beast left the toilet seat up… then this feature is for you! I gave into reasoning on the battle of the toilet seat. With it down there is less splash, and keeps your seat even warmer!
3. Butt Spray
-It is made for cleaning your rear after doing your deed. It does just that. It does it well. Enough said.
4. Flushing Sound or Music
– Don’t care! Never used it, and am not planning on using it. But for those who are cautious of people outside smashing their ear to the door, listening to see if you are going to be 2 minutes or 20 minutes, this is a good way to let them know. It’s going to be awhile. All without incriminating yourself.
These toilets are a must have! I will continue to use toilets as part of how I judge restaurants, shops, and my friends. If you’re curious how it feels, check out this [Buzzfeed video]
Have your own future toilet story. Let me know down below in the comments down below.
P.S. Not all the toilets in Japan are Future Toilets. They have relics like this one I had the displeasure of crossing paths with.